Credit: JD Lasica

Films

Watch the worst Jessica Alba film franchise on Netflix

Jessica Alba has appeared in quite a number of films but rarely has she appeared in a good one. Alba is more of a successful business mogul than an actress as she continues to expand her skincare and cosmetic enterprise but makes no effort to better the quality of films she appears in. 

Born on April 28, 1981, to a very conservative and religious family, Alba has always emphasised the feminist reawakening in her at the young age of five. Alba had joined the Atlantic Theatre Company after graduating high school due to her knack for acting; Alba won free acting classes at the age of eleven which inspired her to pursue this profession. 

After making her debut in Camp Nowhere, Alba appeared in a number of commercial and indie films before getting her breakthrough in James Cameron’s 2000 sci-fi series Dark Angel. Alba has appeared in various other well-known films, including the Fantastic Four franchise, Sin City, Into the Blue, Good Luck Chuck etc. While these are well-known, they are not necessarily well-made pieces of work. And one such terrible franchise of hers is now available on Netflix. 

Fantastic Four is a cursed comic. None of its book-to-film adaptations has been successful. In 2005, Tim Story adapted the first film titled fantastic Four, before quickly following it up with a sequel in 2007, titled Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Starring Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd, Michael Chiklis and Julian McMahon, the film franchise is absolutely obnoxious. With Evans playing the role of an asshole, repeated harasser Johnny Storm, it seems like he reaped the benefits in the end after bagging the blockbuster role of Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic franchise after this walk of shame. 

The story basically revolves around scientists who get exposed to a cloud during a space mission that genetically alters them, making them possess superpowers. Gruffudd’s Reed becomes flexible, Chiklis’ Ben gains super strength, Evans’ Johnny becomes Human Torch while Alba as Susan gains the power of invisibility. 

Together, they team up to become a family of superheroes who fight against evil, namely Victor Von Doom. The second part of the duology introduces an elusive silver surfer who is the harbinger of a cosmic entity that threatens to destroy Earth. 

Based on the story of Marvel’s oldest hero team, the films are an utter embarrassment. Besides the glaring plotholes, underdeveloped characters and the superheroes’ unconvinced whining about normal life, it is even more painful to watch the director reduce Alba to nothing but a “hot, naked” superhero who can appeal to teenage fantasies. 

When Alba was criticised for her performance as Susan Storm, she defended herself by talking about how despicable and rampant is sexism in the industry. Director Story allegedly told her  “It looks too real. It looks too painful. Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica… Don’t do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.” 

Both the films are terrible and are now streaming on Netflix.