Credit: Netflix

They’ve done it! They’ve actually gone and bloody done it! After three seasons of watching Joanne and Noah find ways to please everyone, the third season of Nobody Wants This went ahead and finally let them do something for themselves for once: get married.

But would you believe they’ve managed to get married without telling their families? In all fairness, it is not entirely unbelievable either, especially after everything these two have been through. We thought we’d at least get a massive wedding with everyone crying into their champagne, but nope, they’ve decided to do things their own way.

Nobody Wants This season three starts with Joanne (Kristen Bell) moving in with Noah (Adam Brody), and things are looking pretty good for them, although there’s still the small matter of Joanne converting to Judaism. She’s taking it seriously, bless her, but with Noah’s family having an opinion on practically everything she does, you do wonder how the woman hasn’t completely lost her patience by now.

And then Noah goes and proposes in Napa during episode four, which is as lovely as you would’ve imagined after their first kiss, and for a moment you think these two might finally get to enjoy being together without another family argument. But of course, Bina’s got her own ideas about the wedding, and before long everyone’s getting involved in decisions that really should be left to the couple.

Meanwhile, Morgan and Sasha are busy making an absolute mess of their love lives because apparently Joanne and Noah aren’t allowed to have one peaceful family gathering. They’ve hooked up in New York, Sasha’s separated from Esther, and by the time everyone gets to Malibu… well, someone’s about to have a very uncomfortable conversation.

Joanne and Noah’s beach wedding is the real deal

Let’s scrap every messed-up thing for a second and talk about the good part. The Malibu trip is meant to celebrate Joanne completing her conversion, with a mikvah in the ocean, but Noah decides he’s had enough of all the wedding fuss and suggests they just get married right there on the beach. And Joanne agrees! Just like that. Rabbi Eden offers to officiate, and they even rope in a bloke walking his dog to be their witness. Imagine telling your family you got married and some random dog walker got an invite before they did.

And Netflix has got some nerve, because just as Rabbi Eden begins the ceremony, the camera pulls away. Like, come on, we’ve waited three seasons for this! But don’t worry, the show’s creators have confirmed Joanne and Noah are officially married, even though their families haven’t got a clue. It’s actually quite sweet seeing them finally put themselves first, although it will be fun to watch Bina find out she’s missed her son’s wedding. That woman is going to go crazy.

Morgan and Sasha have some explaining to do

Meanwhile, Morgan and Sasha… oh boy! The central couple might not be having the issues or confusion these two deal with on a daily basis. Gosh, what are we going to do with these two? They finally sleep together in New York, but Morgan leaves the next morning, and poor Sasha takes it as a rejection.

Then, just when she’s starting to realise she might actually want something serious with him, he’s not having any of it. And to make things even worse, Sasha’s also slept with Esther again despite them being separated.

And naturally, the whole thing comes spilling out in Malibu when Lynn reveals what happened between Morgan and Sasha, while Esther admits she’s slept with him too. What a nightmare! So you’ve got everyone back at the house dealing with that bombshell, while Joanne and Noah are off getting married without anyone knowing.

Morgan and Sasha’s future is still up in the air, and with season four yet to be confirmed, we’re left wondering how this lot will ever get through another family dinner. Especially once Bina hears about that wedding… It will be fun to watch.